The Fear
I suffer, sudden onset of anxiety
Whenever the spotlight falls to me
It causes my breath to catch,
And words to stick in my throat
Desperate to crawl back
To the deep recess of my gut
Where moths
Thousands of nervous wings
Flutter frantically,
Crashing into one another
In a pack of panic and pulchritude,
Desperate for escape,
Obscured within this
Crumpled paper slip;
A delicate chaos.
Desperate desires,
Sadistic compulsions,
Push a shaky, sweaty, inarticulate, mess
To the vanguards of performance
Targeted by beam of light
With only I in its sights
Broad and blinding
I’m not nearly so bright.
Crammed courage in fists,
Strength dripping out in stains of sweat,
Wishing for the anxiety to ease,
Fear is hard to forget.