Yes Dad! Yes!

I wanted to be called a faggot.

 

I want to be hit in the face

While I’m on the cold dirty gound.

I want to feel their hot, smelly spit,

coming down my cheek,

as I get a hard kick in the stomach.

 

I don’t want a handsome, heroic

knight to rescue me from this beating.

This brutal assault.

 

I want them to tell me how

disgusting I am.

How even if I follow God’s rules,

I’ll be burning in the scorching flames

with my friend, Satan.

 

Let me be a sinner.

 

Let me lust and have odd desires.

To feel another man’s skin against mine.

To feel his lips rub against mine.

To feel his arms around my waist,

to only burn with him.

 

Let me be crazy.

 

Let me think radically and view the world differently.

To think, him and I will spread out madness.

Spread it like wild fire, for us to feel like

we’re in asylum.

 

Let me beat.

 

Beat by yours words and your stares.

Stab me endlessly with your sharp knife that you hold.

Spread my blood all over your white hat and uniform.

Puncture my heart so I could feel numb.

 

I deserve this!

You wanted this…