Why should I be banished from using what you call “fancy words?”

If you can use diction that includes an abundant use of “like,”

Then why must I be restricted from uttering such words as “vitriol?”

Prithee explain to me what the harm is in broadening my horizons!

What puissance lies in vocabulary if it cannot be varied?

Does it feel better to be called “skinny” or “fat?”

Or does it feel better to be called “gaunt” or “corpulent”?

Despite the fact that these words have the same definitions,

What separates them from one another is the amount of elegance,

Or, as one would say in other words, how “cool” they sound.

One may believe that archaic words are just buried relics.

Call me “old fashion,” but it is rubbish under which they are entombed!

Forsooth, there may not be a multitude excavating these words anytime anon,

So let those whom you may perceive as pretentious entertain the notion.

And to those of you who perpetuate the overused response, “In English, please,”

Know that all preceding words are English regardless of their temporal point of origin.