It's true 

the moment that immediately follows waking up is filled with pure ignorance 

In that moment all worries are forgotten 

And it is in that moment

between sleep and full conscientiousness 

that I turn to check my phone 

still expecting to find a good morning message from you 

When my lock screen is blank 

I'm jerked into the reality that you stopped responding a while ago

and I'm the consistent one half that still hasn't moved on

 

Dwelling on the idea of us is behind me 

but you gave me nothing to hold onto 

so I find you in everything

 

When your favorite movies became mine 

and the sky became ours 

I couldn't think about myself without thinking of you

 

You wove yourself into my world 

and trying to remove you would only unravel myself

 

Days are empty 

and the loneliness 

of the dark morning seeps in more and more since my thoughts have evolved 

from rose colored imagines of you 

to the dark gray question;

why wasn't I good enough 

 

I no longer reach out across the sheets trying to find your warmth

because the silent shanking of my sobs generate enough heat

that I’m now self sufficient 

 

But my night’s are getting colder 

because my eyes are getting sore 

from mourning the loss of you 

 

I've always had an over active imagination

 but the thing about fantasies is that when reality blurs

they stay sharp 

so I'm still in your arms 

every night as I drift to sleep 

 

You said 

never have I been happier and 

now you look at me like we never were 

and I want to know if it's as hard for you as it is for me 

 

It's only a dream when you wake up 

so wake me up from this nightmare 

 

How could you toss aside what you once said made you the happiest?

So did you lie

or change me?

 

The worst part about not seeing it coming

 is that you're not able to brace yourself for the fall 

 

Because as I fell in love 

you fell away

 

becoming unable to catch me