i have been asked like everyone else

what do you want to be when you grow up

 

am i a grown up now-

is it already time for me to finally answer--

what if i told you i still dont know---

 

i sit on a rooftop looking out at the city skyline

and its changed so much since i first laid eyes on it

and its home to more people than i can possibly fathom

 

my bodys grown and my minds has aged too

and my legs extend past the edge just a bit longer

and my hands reach out to the stars just a bit closer

 

im grown

maybe i have grown ever enough 

yet i still dont know exactly what i want to be

 

be-

exist--

subsist---

 

im sorry

all i want now is to breathe my last breath

all i want now is for my heart to beat its last beat

 

because i know for certain that i think im tired

and lonelier than i was as a single cell

so intimately isolated by cities of space

 

the stars somehow seem brighter than before

even though the electric lights outshine them

every second i look up im there

 

among the eternal stars destined to fizzle out

exploding gloriously during its final moments

i do know what i want to be now that ive grown

 

i say im tired to the shooting star streaking by

i say im lonely so let me have my wish come true

 

i extend my legs-

i reach out my hands--

i lean my body beyond the edge---