It's when someone brings it up in conversation.

A smile creeps onto my face

And I think to myself,

"Finally!"

And I proceed to ramble on,

Spewing every little detail.

It's when I talk about it,

Others can see the passion

Glistening in my eyes

And I can feel a fire

Ignite inside my soul.

It's pouring out my thoughts and emotions

In black ink

Onto a piece of paper

Inside of a half-used journal.

It's making my voice be heard

By the eyes that read my words.

But it's also what I don't want anyone to know.

It's the rage, confusion, pain, depression,

That I have kept hidden all these years.

It's the blood-curdling shrieks in my mind,

The shattered heart that cuts me,

The pain that reverberates off the walls of my skull.

It's the stillness of my tongue,

Uttering only the sweet silence of surrender.

Until finally it's a moment of bliss.

It's when Holiness seeps into my skin,

Birthing peace and righteousness.

It's when fear and despair is destroyed,

Leaving behind only the remnants

Of complete salvation.