Every Time I Tell You How I Feel

My feeling for you is the elation you feel when you see a shooting star,

And your heart climbs into your throat with exhilaration.

My feeling for you is sitting in rush hour traffic on I-90 towards Seattle and singing my lungs out because,

There's no other way to contain my excitement.

My feeling for you is the refreshment one feels when they step out of a warm shower,

And are finally clean after those few hours of practice.

My feeling for you is like when someone says you look beautiful as you’re walking down the hall,

And you swell with happiness and your day brightens.

And I’m lucky,

That you tell me that every day.


It’s when I step out of my car and pick out your 6’3” frame among the crowd,

And finally understand what butterflies feel like as they lift my stomach into my chest and I can barely breathe because you’re walking toward me and I could never want anything more than all of you.

It’s when I listen to your jazz playlist and feel like my spirit is too an animal,

So much more alive with fondness enveloping my soul.

It is seeing two butterflies dance around each other in a sunlit garden,

And thinking of how lovely it is these creatures share such a tender dance on the air.

It’s looking at your green speckled brown eyes and watching that smile spread across your face

And knowing I would give anything to never see smile fade.


You broke my cages and all of me spilled out like a newborn foal,

Not knowing how to stand or how to use my own legs.

But I dance now,

Twirling through the trees touching every limb and taking it all in because I now trust myself.


I look at you and feel such contentedness, such sheer bliss,

That I am grateful my tongue is tied,

Grateful I cannot describe this feeling,

Because maybe the mystery of this feeling will entice people to search for it too,

This irreplaceable undisguisable feeling of oneness with another person’s soul.

Every time I try to tell you how I feel it comes out muddled and seeps through my toes and my fingers and every crack of my being until I am filled entirely by you.

I love you.


This poem is about: 
My family


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