The Essence of Me


A growing voice inside my head; the essence of me. 

You were my only nightmare, yet the only person I wanted to see. 

I could not wait to meet you, for I never have before. 

Searching the world for you, going from door to door. 

Still I was scared. You were an absent piece of life.

You left me when I was a blank slate, leaving me to grow up full of strife. 

Hearing the sound of your name, my smile becomes stone. 

I didn't want to talk about you, not to anyone. 

I didn't know you... though you knew me. 

It was hard to believe we were actually family. 

I just wanted to tell you, I don't care about your past. 

I just want you to see me as I am,  to engrave a relationship that will last. 

You don't have to earn me back, and you don't have to try.

I understand what happened and I understand why. 

You did what you had to do, in order to keep me happy.

If you ever read this poem, I'm sorry if it gets sappy. 

You gave up your little girl, so life wouldn't be so bad. 

But life is great now that I have met you, dad.

The gangs, and jails, well they're all gone away. 

As long as you're in my life now, you might as well stay. 

These 18 years have been long ones, searching for you. 

A map that was inside my head, gone askew. 

You're the growing voice inside my head, the essence of me.

You are my only dream, the only person I can't wait to see.




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