You know me?

 

You look at me and see a girl

A girl who laughs with no care in the world

The girl whose eyes show no fear

The girl whose smile says that she's alright

Whose body language says that she's okay

The girl whose world is all about how others feel

The girl who who listens to others

The girl who cares for others happiness instead of her own

The girl whose life has been about following orders

The diary and confidant people hold so dear

The girl that rants when she's pissed off

The girl who speaks her mind around her friends

 

But no one understands

 

I'm also the sad little girl who hides behind a curtain

Because she doesn't want her secrets heard

She's scared of judgement and being bullied

She is alone and afriad

She wants to cry out for help but can't

She cries to herself to ease the pain

She struggles and hopes that one day she will be free

Free from her fears that suffocate her

She's angry with herself and the world

She hates people and prefers to be anti-social

She is a contradiction

An entity that cannot figure herself out

She has no personality and nothing special about 

She is a puppet, a doll, a thing, an enigma, in what we call life

 

She is me and I am her.

I wish i could change.

Wish i could figure out who I am.

What my purpose in life is.

But I can't,

 

And I have accepted that