of the mental degree,
the built-in monstrosity
and my attempt to build new philosophies
of what made me sick
as I had always been;
It all started at age eleven.
The script for me was given,
the moments I thought were meant for living,
seemed snatched away
Because of how expensive those medical bills were to pay.
"You need an education, but you really need to be insured."
eyes laid still,
resting above an old room's window sill.
Don't worry, I thought to myself, I'll get out soon
and we'll just have to shoot off to the moon,
I went from the Midwest
To the 'Wild West'
LA and its' hot summer days,
Could no longer stay
in a lifetime
It was like madness,
trying to escape this past world,
trying to redefine beyond a little girl.
All the while,
friends became hostile,
Even in those times I found a smile,
with tears behind my eccentric fashion styles.
I wanted to possess some kind of illusion of happiness.
It felt it was all that was left in my capacity,
Cleaning up rooms of messes,
Organized my dresses
Looked in the mirror and saw a stranger
A stranger people seemed to like.
Every thought I would spite,
for a real education.
Until my imagination,
let me travel with inspiration,
to a place called 'Eugene'
A place embodied with nature and serene
Textures and opportunities to analyze those dreams,
Maybe I will make it in this college town
after all, I dream to study the human mind,
Its knowledge unbound.