I smile but I continue to hide away.
I keep pretending like everything is okay. Like everything is alright.
I act all happy.
I lied.
Painted smile.
My life is sort of crappy.  
My life is full of lies, and hate.
My thoughts racing for miles.
Yes, it was all faked.
I fear I'll be like this for a while.
It sort of hurts. It aches.
So much that its making me shake.
Fighting these tears, holding back.
I am drowning in my thoughts and fears, giving myself a panic attack.
I smile, but sometimes it hurts.
Sometimes everything just makes it even worse.
I feel like slicing through my wrists.
The pain.
I'll just sit here cutting through my skin into this vein.
Letting the blood run, until I am fixed.
Wipe my tears.
Put a smile on, and pretend.
I will continue to swallow my fears.
I refuse to give in.
©psych0