Dream State
Where is he????
????
????
I remember vaguely asking the group,
And they all cluelessly, carelessly shrug,
Not really caring where their “good” friend could be.
So I pitter and I patter
Pitter patter
Across the carpet
Because someone has to care, and it’s usually me.
I open the garage door and there
You are
Aimlessly, haphazardly throwing darts.
And as I heard your last thud of dart meeting backboard
I notice you’re filling up your “coke” bottle
With vodka
I stay calm and look up at you with my
Perplexed deep chocolate eyes
and I whisper
Why?
And in your drunken stupor
It all comes tumbling out,
Word after broken phrase meaningless word
You tell me you’re just living life
Young wild and free...
And you don’t know how much I loved you.
‘Cause I closed the door and followed suit.
In my bravado I grabbed a can of coke and
Flipped
Open the top, and we hear the carbonated water
Crackle
And I down it in one big gulp.
And somehow before we knew it,
We were laughing hysterically
Beautiful and
Reckless
But by the end of the night you were cuddling her,
While all I had was a puzzle piece mind and a clouded headache.
And you don’t know how much I loved you.
And the next day you and I
The daredevils
Are riding our bicycles
In the most abandoned, lower-class suburban neighborhood
But suddenly my pedal breaks and I fall
And I still loved you.
Because you told me adventure was the epitome of life
And to get up and handle my cuts and scrapes like a man
So I got up and you gave me a hug
and you breathed
“This is why I love you”.
And before we knew it,
We were 16 and in love
Every second we were around each other,
All I could feel was
Passion,
Undying passion,
Because electricity was
Bouncing off both our bodies.
My world was alive!
I was alive!
You made me alive.
And I still loved you.
And 6 months after that
You decided you didn’t need me
.
.
.
And to this day you ignore me
.
.
.
We curse each other's names,
We wish to cause each other pain
All I know is I haven’t gained
Only lost
Lost all I’ve ever known to face a person who
I can feel cringe at the thought of me
Whenever I walk into a room you turn your back
And I sit in wonder
Why I still loved you
And to this day
.
.
.
I still love you.