Tears cursing my skin’s surface

I wanted You

Concrete

Stable foundation laid by your cradled touch

Though I was greeted; cold suffocation

We merely 2 batches mixed differently

 

“Don’t come to me when you are crying”

 

Sadness; he held me close again

 

“I don’t come to you when I’m crying”

My eyes were dry

 

“Why can’t you just learn to let it go?”

You are the flood destroying my sparkling city lights

 

“I’m here for you. Why are you sad? I can listen. Tell Me!”

And I don’t crumble under your force

YetI do under mine

Under cold sheets I’m Buried

 

Sadness strokes my cheek. 

My frail body, his new work of art

A mural to be hung from a ceiling fan

 

“If you cry, you are weak”

 

I don’t come to you when I’m crying

Once, I did. You held me like Sadness has every night

Your touch was like coming home 

You washed away Sadness’s crimson paint and said I’d be ok

you were kind

And you were tired

so you were brief

 

Sent off to bed to sadness’s embrace again

As my lungs collapsed

And my bones broke themselves down with every breath 

Disaster to the only system allowing me to stand 

Look you in the eye

Sadness stroked my hair

held the thin tissues to my nose

 

And I lost you

As you walked away 

Coffee in hand and no words uttered

I lay waiting for you to kiss me goodnight

 

This is Why

I do not come to you when I am crying

 

“If you are weak, you are not my child”

If you are my mother. You are weak too.