May 26, 2016 at 2:06 PM

Throughout the years I’ve had to

Overcome difficult realizations

The first time was when my best friend

Had been taken away

She was my favorite member of the

Family to come home to

She had a coat of black and gray

With white, chest down

Her right eye was pure white

And the left was carmel

She greeted me with hugs of hello

And kisses of excitement

After she was gone

The mornings had no meaning because

She wasn’t there to wake me up anymore

She became the reasons for my

Lashing out at such a young age

Tears would form whenever

Frustration rose to the surface

At a young age I never understood

As to why she had to be taken away

I thought dogs lived forever until you did

But I died a little bit that day

So maybe that’s why she did too

The second difficult realization

Was the death of my librarian’s son

His name was Michael

I still remember his beautiful smile

And I can still see it within the smile of his baby sister

Their only son had been lured away

With a single gunshot wound

I never heard the full story

Only that he had changed morally

And he had two choices:

Go away for a little while

Or go away completely

Maybe he chose forever because

He had spiraled down too far

And he didn’t believe there was light above.

The third realization started the summer

Before freshman year

The phone call at 4 AM

And a trip to the hospital,

In which my dad never returned like normal

We were told the grandfather wasn’t going to make it

Reality had turned to mush

As the world started to spin

And become blurry

I couldn’t remember the last time I spoke to him

Or told him I loved him

Regret was dancing around my heart

He left the world with his hand in mine

And the hole in my chest grew a size bigger that day

And today

I still haven’t overcome the news

You plastered on billboards all over town

The thought process has been lagging

Like a computer with slow wifi

I haven’t been able to understand the way

Life now is and how it will always be

You filled the void in my chest

And now that you’re gone

The hole is much larger

Maybe you thought you’d take a souvenir

A keepsake to remember who I am

And perhaps that’s why I can’t overcome this

There is an unnecessary piece of me still in your hands

Except your hands aren’t locked with mine

The way I thought they would be

Your fingers are too busy

Latching onto someone else.

Please don’t trade me for him

Don’t try to put us together

And make your own creation

Our pieces don’t and won’t match

We will never be the puzzle you want to finish

We are separate

You choose one

And you’ve been spending more time on him

We are all told to return what has been found

Because the thing that was discovered

Does not belong to the finder

You found me and my name is

Written on every piece you took

There’s a lot and found nearby

And I have been waiting for you

To return what you found

You should know that I’ve found something of yours

You’ve been lost for sometime now

And maybe that’s why you took pieces

That you believed would make you whole again

-(hms)