Depression is not an emotion

It is a disorder

It is a mixture of a million undefinable feelings

It is almost impossible to describe

but the closest thing to it is the sensation you feel on the first drop of a rollercoaster

Your heart is in your throat, a thousand thoughts race through your mind,

and fear consumes you to the point of letting out a scream

Imagine all of that happening while time is standing still

Your heart is in your throat, thoughts race through your mind

but even though fear consumes you, you don't scream

You sit there with your with your head in your hands

because you downplay this madness

"Everybody feels depressed some days" and you think today is your day

But soon days turn into weeks, weeks to months, and months to years

Because while you though depression was just a passing emotion 

The disorder took control of you

And now you can't get off this rollercoaster