My thought is deep and heart is weak

Do I cry or do I weep?Am I lost, confused with lust?Is the pain I suffer truly a must? Do I desire for a love of my own,Am I worthy of what you have shown?I'm told daily "just be you,"Then I am judged and scarred when you're through. My cuts aren't deep,Just enough to anger. The blade is my soul and blood the anchor. What's wrong with same love?I see no difference. Gender is an illusion, not just a preference. I can't be me. I can't be free. I long to love you, why can't they see?My heart is aching with a strong desire,I'm the light but you are my fire. My thought is deep and heart is weakDo I cry or do I weep?