Dear Mom, 

I just want to say I'm sorry for the stupid shit I do and how I don't want to come home

to you but I don't see myself being in your presence if you don't even fucking believe

in me anymore. I don't want to end up like Santy Claus now. I had this playing in my

mind, thinking shit alright. You thought I was going to be a drop out sooner or later.

Told me you wouldn't have my back if I was to ever be arrested and thats a fact.

You drilled that in my head and I ain't even mad. You say you should of called the

cops on me and have me shipped to DYA (Department of Youth Affairs) the flaw in your

logic is that I'm still going away. I guess you're not the one phone call I can make.

Nah you didn't hold the blade but you might as well have. Told me if I was a bit

slimmer maybe I'll attract someone's eyes. You taught me that my body wasn't good

enough and I believed you- when I starved myself for you, you told me I'd get sick

and that's basically it? I didn't love myself and my idea of the 

perfect body was similair to barbie. When I got my septum pierced, you told me who

would love a cow? Well there's the vegans. Were you talking about my jewlery or

my mass? Yout took it upon yourself to type it on facebook and when everyone 

made fun of me, you let it be. Told dad I couldn't come to your work after 

school anymore becasue you were embrarrased to be seen with me. Broken and 

bruised, I couldn't eat or sleep, shit I rather have my heart broken by a boy than you.

But you did, you broke me- you fucking broke me, Let that float in your mind, 

knowing your baby girl wanted to die. I no longer find comfort in your hugs or 

genuine love in your kisses and I want to know what the fuck did I miss?

Where did it all go wrong ? You hate the fact that you know I smoke bud and in the

most ironic way it's the only time I'm able to make you laugh and smile. I never

call you because I'm afraid we'll argue, it's like we're a ticking time bomb just waiting 

for expolsive words to damage and hurt our feelings. I don't want to ruin your day 

like how you told me I ruin everything. I don't know how to end this, probably 

because I've never taken the time to pen this down, think it through and say it out 

loud. One day I'm afraid I'll say enough, pack my shit and call dad to tell him I need 

him or I may disappear in the middle of the night and walk anywhere because where 

home? My first thanksgiving without you and man did I bawl like a little bitch, I 

hope its the last holiday I spend without you. Youre my mother and I'm your daughter

but the only characteristics we share is our face and... ass. Grow the fuck up Chloe, 

that's what sis told me. You ain't never going to learn but I am, I'm on the grind and 

trying to take my time to see the mistakes I've made with you. Dear mom, I forgot to 

say the most important thing of all, I'm sorry and I love you, even after all this shit

we went through.