Dear Heart,

We need to talk. Yesterday you kept me up all night with your drumming. In fact, you've kept me "up" my WHOLE LIFE with your incessant beating and pounding and such. I mean, I get that practice makes permanant, but how good do you really need to be at the drums? I think you should take up the flute, or maybe the guitar. That way you wouldn't have to carry around this heavy body all the time. Maybe if you tried whistling, you could just be a part of my nose instead. Or snapping, I hear that's in right now. Just find two fingers and you're on. It'd be a much more casual job, low stress and a lot more fun in my opinon. Well, maybe those instruments aren't quite for you...have you considered finding a different hobby, maybe something a bit...smoother? It's not quite that I dislike your constant beating, but it can be a bit stressful. When you play those really upbeat songs I get all sweaty and feel faint. But the slow songs are just as bad, they make me so sleepy! How about we cut a deal? You can keep practicing to your heart's content, but it has to be "Staying Alive." I know I have the sheet music around here somewhere...

With Great Request,

Kylie