My days are busy and my nights are long

But here I sit in thought of you.

You whom I thought I loved;

You who took my trust and crumbled it to pieces.

 

There was a time before I met you

When I knew what love was.

Love was hugs, kisses, company,

And, overall, love was trust.

 

I love my family,

And I know it to be true,

Because they know me and they've shown me.

But then I saw you,

Way back in middle school.

With your goofy grin and funny attitude.

 

I thought it was love

And I had a crush on you, dear ex-boyfriend,

But you never knew until I told you.

 

It was our junior year of high school

When we became a couple.

Everyone thought we were perfect together.

What they didn't know

Was what happened when they weren't around.

 

A lot of the things you said

And even some things you did

Slowly broke me down.

 

I was unhappy and so were you.

You always seemed to be angry

And I was dead inside.

It was never that way around other people though.

And you always made sure to tell me, "I love you."

 

That wasn't love.

I knew it deep down.

And now it's been confirmed by my online HAVEN course.

 

HAVEN is a course that discusses relationships.

Healthy and unhealthy and more.

Our relationship was emoitionally abusive.

How do I know?

The things you said still ring through my head

And they were threats.

 

In our first week of our relationship,

I was feeling down,

Yet you threatened to break up with me,

Why didn't you then?

 

I thought that was the end of it,

But wait, there's more.

Our fake fight had felt real

And the real ones hurt more.

 

When you weren't threatening to break up with me,

You constantly complained.

You didn't want to be like your father,

Yet you acted just like him.

 

I remember this one night,

After a fight,

You called me and said

You thought about driving off the road and into the river.

 

That was one of the final straws -

And I held onto that statement too -

When the day finally came when I broke up with you.

I'm not going to lie,

That was the greatest day of my life!

 

But after that, you never spoke to me normally.

You were always mad and sounded like you wanted a fight.

My sister called you out on this,

But it didn't change your tone.

What made it worse was that you were going around to our friends

And telling them that you wanted me back.

 

Well, here I am now,

Over a hundred miles away.

I relearned what love is

And I'm happy where I am.

 

As I told you back then, when we first got together,

I only give guys one chance when dating.

So, while we may never be a thing again,

I know I'll find someone out there who - like my family -

Loves me just the way I am.