Dave's Night

The Weekend hits.

Responsibilities are forgotten and people give less shits.

Friday to the break of sun on the last day,

we know nothing but how to play.

But sometimes we play too hard 

to where we can't play the right card.

Try as you might, drive your car 

to the local bar,

looking for pussy like fastfood that is not very far...

It's easy for some, others it is rather hard (pun fully intended).

But sometimes there are more elaborate ways to how a night's story can be ended.

If you don't like chicks with dicks or dudes with tits, stop reading now because

you might get offended.

Dave is not your average white guy,

humbly standing tall at 6'5"

and prides himself over his new cherry red Corvette Stingray in which he regualrly drives.

Let's put it this way, he is a rich used-up douche

looking for some fresh caboose

to park his moose.

Always looking for the goose that lays the golden egg,

he takes a chance at a local bar called The Third Leg.

To his surprise, sexual attention here was not a commodity that was

bought through a thorough beg,

rather it was as easy as the third or fourth pour from a fresh keg.

"Hey there big guy, I'm Steph, mind if I buy you a drink?"

A voice that beckoned from his left.

He smoothly looks towards her direction and notices botox lips and fake breasts.

She was nearly as tall as he,

but that didn't stop Dave, because this pussy came to him for free.

They talk for a moment and after several more drinks on Steph's tab,

she asks him to dance.

Without hesitation, he accepts and follows those hips

that rested in a pair of skin-tight pants.

In an aggressive way, she pulls him closer and starts to say, 

"Mind if we take this party to your place so I can make your day?"

Dave proceeds to take her by the hand and make his way to the door,

totally not minding the same-sex makeout sessions that occurred on the dance floor.

The two of them hop into his cherry red Corvette.

Everything is fine.

He got free drinks and beside him sits a dime

that wouldn't mind every last drop of his slime.

The setting is just right throughout the night until he turns on the living room lite.

"Ah what the fuck?!"

Reality hit Dave like a semitruck.

It replies, "you look like you've just seen a ghost."

Maybe it is because he brought home a specimen that possesses the most.

Dave proceeds to interogate Steph but decides to now call her Stephen...

Which was actually 'her' legal name.

Stephen's voice becomes deeper and more masculine in tone,

"Shut up beta male, yo ass is now mine to bone!!"

Dave was never much of a host to begin with,

so he attempts to strike Stephen using his left fist.

He drunkenly missed and got knocked outcold by Stephen's brick of a fist

that knocked him into the abyss.


Dave became conscious again to the sound of the front door slamming closed.

Naked and sore, he puts on his clothes.

The next thing he knows,

he can't find his keys.

A car outside starts and he shamefully falls to his knees.

Gone is his anal virginity and his Corvette.

All he has left is nothing but regret.



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