Sun, 09/10/2017 - 16:10 -- samjl16

I know who I am

And I know who I’m becoming

Someone unafraid

Unafraid of what people think

Unafraid of the actions I do

Just unafraid


Yet I’m still terrified

Terrified of who I used to be

And terrified of my future

Not of what I do in the future

Just who I become in the future


Will I suddenly suck on a microphone

Just to get my voice to be heard

Will I start flapping my hand

Just to get my visions out

Will I just lay on the river

Without a care in the world


But it’s because of that very fact that I’m terrified

Because I don’t know what my future holds

I’m a human

I like a list

I like my things charted on a calendar

So hey future if you can give me the dates

That would be great

The dates of the important things

Do I find love?

Do I find a job?

Do I live long?

Just write my life down for me

That would be great


But I know you won’t

That’s why people only plan two years in the future

Because our future is unwritten

Our future is a math equation

With infinite solutions

That’s why we can’t solve life

Because life is the biggest math problem in the world


I’m afraid

Afraid to find out I’m not good enough

I’m afraid to share myself with the world just to be shot down

Shot into a million pieces

That no one will ever pick up

And piece back together

Scared that the pieces will drift

They’ll fall through every crack of the earth

Ever small incision they can find.

I am petrified of not being able to escape those cracks

To slither out of them cracks

But mostly I’m afraid that no one will help me out

Because in that point of my life I want to know if someone will be there

There to help me when I fall

Catch all of my tears

I want to know that someone will give up their lives

Just to help me

Because that’s what I need


I’m afraid of my future

But I’m not afraid of what’s going to get me there

I just hope there will be someone there

At the end of the finish line


To give me water

To give me a towel

And say

You did it

Then I know

I won’t be afraid



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