It’s been so long since you left

And in turn I don’t remember much about you

I remember you’d have snobby tea parties with me

And call me bossy wossy when I told you not to drink your tea yet

But here I am in a dream now,

How dark it is in this instant

I can hear the soles of your shoes sweeping across the floor

I can smell lavender whenever you pass in front of me,

Though I can’t see you I still feel your presence

Dancing in your invisible foot steps,

I can hear your laugh resonate within my mind’s walls

I can remember when you were strong

I remember the drive to Arkansas

I kept staring at the blue grass from out the window,

Wondering why our grass was brown at home,

And what the grass in Arkansas would be like

I knew you were sick, but with what?

What is it that ailed you?

It would get better with some chicken noodle soup and blankets,

That fixed everything for me

I remember wanting your dog Tory to like me

Even though I had a deep-set fear she would corner me in the stair entrance

And that one day, when I was lying on the floor,

She curled up next to me and fell asleep in the crook of my legs

Things like that are important to young, oblivious children

Things like that made me smile when everyone around me was falling apart

I didn’t know soup and blankets couldn’t fix cancer

I thought everyone was doing things for you because you were tired

I remember you wanted to go to a waffle house,

And uncle Carl carried you out to the car

I thought it to be romantic, the way he swept you out of your bed

I didn’t know it was because you were too weak to stand

But here I am in a dream now,

How dark it is in this instant

I can hear the soles of your shoes sweeping across the floor

I can smell lavender whenever you pass in front of me,

Though I can’t see you I still feel your presence

Dancing in your invisible foot steps,

I can hear your laugh resonate within my mind’s walls

I can remember when you were strong

I remember your mint heels in your little shoe bag

And me denying that they were too big for my feet as I wobbled in them

You were one hundred percent a classy lady through and through

And you reminded me that I would be one day too

I’m not sure what it was about you that I admired the most,

Was it the way you were able to be strong for the people around you?

How you were still able to smile at me at Grandma Rose’s funeral,

Even though the pain you felt was far beyond explaining?...

I remember your cat walking across the miniature waterfall by your pool,

And feeling the concrete under my feet when I swam

I remember playing a marble race game while you slept,

Wondering when you would want to play with us

One thing I’ll never regret is swapping our stuffed animal yorkies

Because I will always have a piece of you,

And the memory of that day in toys r’ us when you were like a little kid,

Cooing over the cotton filled stuffed dog that looked like Tory

I remember going to the beach house in the outer banks,

Putting together puzzles, eating, laughing, the karaoke machine

Why that sticks out in my mind, I’ll never know

But you were happy, we all were

But here I am in a dream now,

How dark it is in this instant

I can hear the soles of your shoes sweeping across the floor

I can smell lavender whenever you pass in front of me,

Though I can’t see you I still feel your presence

Dancing in your invisible foot steps,

I can hear your laugh resonate within my mind’s walls

I can remember when you were strong