The door slammed shut

into my five year old face

I was just a little girl

and I was already in this place

 

I crawled into bed

for the tears would not stop falling

and every time the phone would ring

I’d see if it were you calling

 

Ten years later

And I’m still in this place

I sit in haunting silence

waiting for you to fill the empty space

 

They asked me in the hospital

if I’d been through a traumatic event

I nodded my head and told them

how you left me in the cement

 

They made me write a letter

in the envelope it is ensconced

I never put it in the mail

for fear of no response

 

I stand here today

in front of my class

revealing my thoughts

and cuts from broken glass

 

I relive these moments

and crawl into bed

this great depression consumes me

and I prepare for what’s ahead

 

I drown away my thoughts

by listening to Elliott Smith

I write poem after poem

about how a good dad is just a myth

 

I am not a good daughter

for why else would you leave?

It surely wasn’t you

now that I won’t believe.

 

No matter what they tell me

I know I will not be okay

There will always be the scar

that you left on my heart that day