10/26/2015

When people try to get close to me, I shy away

When people try to get to know me, I lie

‘Put on your mask’, I think.

“Show me your real self. Who you really are. Stop pushing people away.”

I can’t help it

My mask

My armour

I can breathe

I can live

Life becomes bearable

Without it

Who am I?

Who is the girl you try to force me to become?
“Be a doll” I thought

“Just be a doll. No one will want you anyway, so be a doll.”

Over and over, my lifeline, my melody.

I sang my song again and again

Out of tune

Out of focus

Again and again

“If you forget you’re a doll, they’ll cut your strings.”
“Don’t dream of impossibilities”

“Just wear your mask, straighten your back”
“And dance to the tune they play you.”
 

I am a doll

I am a human

 

I am nothing

 

These two thoughts conflict inside me as I swing to the invisible tune

Threads controlling my every move

I...

I have no say.

In a moment I could be carried away and thrown off stage.

Unwanted

 

Branded as useless

Unnecessary

Waste of space

No purpose…

 

My inner emotions are stronger than the ones I portray

How much longer can I stay in character?

 

A doll

A doll

You must be a doll