i know rock bottom feels hollow 

like a chasm that will never be filled 

like the roaring won't cease and the hurt will never heal. 

healing. 

i know that too. 

and i know light and darkness. 

intentional starvation and deep seated hurt. 

and i know hope and despair, 

but once in my life i knew only  

hunger, despair, hatred, hurt 

i knew only my worth was defined 

by the boy who left 

the boy who used me  

and the boy who walked right by 

and i wish i never knew 

that my innocence remained

that i could carry on with out  

carrying with me these bags full of memories 

but today i know what is true 

hope, healing, love 

because some one showed me 

putting down my bags was easier 

putting down my shame took more time 

filling the chasm my starvation carved 

took even more hours than i thought 

undoing these thoughts i let run loose in my mind 

well, that's still a work in progress 

but i know hope  

and i know healing 

and i know love 

because some one so graciously showed me 

what these things were and how they felt 

and i want to follow in their foot steps 

and i want to show kids rock bottom is a choice 

it is not a fate 

it is not a destiny 

it is sharp and painful, and it simply does not have to be. 

i want to be a hand, a voice, a friend 

i want to be there for them as they crawl out of darkness 

slowly, inching each day 

i want to be there to say: 

i know what you are going through 

but i know what the other side looks like too 

and i know that it is worth the pain you have to endure 

i want to spend my whole life 

a hand, a voice, a friend 

helping like i was helped  

because there is more than despair, hatred, and hurt

there is hope, healing, and love to be had