The Cost
His eyes shine bright like home
for in them I am never alone,
but it’s not real.
I feel lost,
abandoned as the cost of
living or dying?
I’m just not sure anymore.
I’m always torn between life and death
every breath like a battle
every thought like a war.
The shore in my mind makes me want to leave.
The breeze on the sea pushes me
deeper into an eternity of doubt and fear
where the coffin’s laid out for you, dear.
What are we doing here?
I don’t know anymore
now I’m halfway out the door
but you pull me back with the goodness in your core
and I love how your eyes shine like home
but you know I’m still alone as the sea
though you push and pull me like the moon
you’re too far away, it’s too soon.
At least that’s what I say
as I point the loaded gun my way
but I know if I shoot
you lose your home too
and we’ll be laid out side by side
for all to view.
So what am I supposed to do?
Is the cost of living too high when
if forces your sanity to die?
But what about the cost of dying?
Is it worth lying to save a friend
whose life was spent
waiting, debating,
the battle raging in their eyes too?
I know you found me but I never found you.
Your eyes shining bright like home
leave me feeling alone.
But now I know what to do.
I’ll stay holding on to you
until someday the cost of living
will only be the price of hope.