I sit myself down and ask
“When were you a child?”
I search but don't seem to find where it began.
So I ask myself
“When did it end?”
Did it end at nine when the sixteen year old tried to kiss you?
Did it end at eight when you were tasked to raise someone else's infant?
Or did the last shard of your innocence disappear at eleven when you received your first period?
Again, I am unable to pinpoint a location.
The final question I ask myself
“ what would you tell that girl caught between stages?”
I would hold her on the sleepless night full of tears and tell her that it gets so much better. I'd tell her about the wonderful people awaiting her arrival in their lives. I would tell her that it is okay to be confused and that it wasn't her fault that they left.
I would tell her it's okay to be vulnerable around those you trust and that there will be people who are able to gain it.
You will be okay.