my ovaries exploded like pop rocks 

in your mouth the first time i came. 

you put on your shirt and walked out the door

and thats how it was from then on. 

late night rendezvous

i swear my roommate hated you for them. 

and you absolutely knew it. 

you'd come over whenever you needed

and in those moments i'd be everything you needed.

you had me trembling under your fingertips 

begging "please, let me come" --

i was under your mercy. 

you never seemed more in control of your life

than when your life was spinning out of control. 

and now youre dead

and its my fault because 

i loved you. 

i love you

and its my fault because

i never told you. 

youre dead because of me

youre dead because of we,

youre dead because

you and me were never a we.

youre dead and i swear

my roommate cried twice as hard as i did. 

goodbye love,

im sorry i couldnt be everything you needed.