Dad,

 

I remember

…every single time you abandoned me in a car to chase your own desires

…every single time you smoked your daughter away from your mind

…every single time you forgot about your first born

…every single time you only focused on your new family

I remember.

 

Daddy,

 

Do you remember

…i cried for hours for reasons a nine-year old shouldn’t have to comprehend

…i scored a winning goal and searched for you but you were nowhere to be found

…i came flying to you, ecstatic over my perfect grades, only to be swatted away

…i saw other daddies embracing their girls while you clung to your cravings

Do you remember?

 

Father,

 

You don’t remember

…How could you know my pain that you have never allowed yourself to see

…How could you know my pain that you were never forced to grasp

…How could you know my pain that you never tasted

…How could you know my pain that you never heard

You don’t remember.

 

Do you want to hear about what I know now

…I know now that you are not a father, someone to trust and appreciate

…I know now that you are just a man, broken and lost

…I know now that you are a contradiction, someone who destroys and builds

…I know now that you are a child, as was I

This is what I know now.

 

…I remember and I know…