CIRCLES

Fri, 11/10/2017 - 12:37 -- ATWSI

CIRCLES

 

           Time to be honest with myself

When I hit the ceiling with these thoughts in my head

I am falling sick again

I can’t take a breath in

Without being your love

I go in circles

 

These lives are arrows that will always fall short

My eyes are dart to yours, trying to find our love

Hours pass in the afternoon

The sky tells me I’m going in circles

 

When I fall in hate with myself

When I have taken hold of this sickness

When I start to back track and slow my heart beats

Counting things to keep me grounded

Hours grinded in an hourglass

Ticking, my time is falling back

I got to flip it and go in circles

 

I am the epitome of imperfect

When i get so sick

 I see myself crashing down

And you were the only one around

I’m falling down

Again and again

I’m going in circles

 

When I get so sucked into my head

And I start to plead with God again

That I’m as good as dead

And if he replies

Then he replies

But as for now I’m going in circles

 

He tells me daughter,

You’re slowing down, losing your edge

Where Is your spine?

Kid, you’re getting too sick of yourself

You’re in this same spot again

Going to sleep and waking up in hate

Going in circles

I plead with him to keep me as yours

 

God come clean

Tell me something

You put us here then we are not yours

Until we go in the same circles

You saw me fall and hit the ground

You were the only one around

You heard me weep

And you told me you just wanted to sleep

You left again

I collapsed again

I felt my legs crumbling and

My limbs are as good as dead

My mouth is disconnected from my head

You tell me I’m going in circles

 

God why did you get so sick of me

Or are you sick of constantly fathering

Or do you only show to the false prayings

When you feel like this and get so sick

Of being our father do you ever think

That we are sick of sinking in circles

 

We collide

When we feel like this

When we fall so in

I ask God to keep me yours

And if he replies
Then he replies

We’re here again

The feeling of losing sight again

Feel myself being yours

But I am going in circles

I ask god to keep me holy and yours

And if he replies

Then he replies

But I am going in circles 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerfully expressed! Really powerful! Keep sharing! 

ATWSI

Thank you so much! Really appreciate it.

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741