when my hair started falling from the roots like autumn leaves

i could no longer hear the sound like a rainforest during summer rains when i wrung out my hair in the bathtub, the water hitting the tile

instead, my hair showed up in between my fingers, blue nails, raw knuckles

i used to love that sound

sixteen empty bottles of poland spring and four crumpled up gum wrappers were the epitome of my willpower 

and when my vision started to blur and my limbs grew cold i forced myself to realize that rainforests are the lungs of the earth

why shouldn't i be able to hear it breathe?

i wanted to hear my wet hair against the bathtub again

so i chewed

and i swallowed