Change, defined as that of growth and maturity within ones self, change is when you can go outside and feel as though you're strong enough to face the world...I wish I changed, I wish I changed to understand the difference from right to wrong, left to right , from good to evil...I wish I changed .Feeling as if the agonizing pain  and definite suffering changed me, the feeling of feeling worthless and hate that brought cold wet tears to pour from my dark brown eyes as I realized that change is far from me...how can I change when I feel like I am judged daily because of the color of my skin and the uterus to match my familiar oppression. How can I change when the ongoing struggle of everyday fears conquer me, when people surround me throwing verbal rocks and physical slanders in my direction. Where is the change when every day I'm forced to become someone I'm not, forced to love who society say love, do what society does, feel what society feel. I wish I could change, however change in this lifetimes  requires me to be submissive and become someone of our perfect American dream. How can I change when I'm a  stereotype of those who struggled for change everyday. Where is the opportunity of change when I feel like it's taken away from me because of what I chose to be rather than what I'm suppose to be....2016 has brought up many changes for those who are given the chance to prove themselves to change but where's my opportunity for a chance to shine, to rid my self of the offense and hate that I feel, the progression that I as a black female should get in this modern society...where is the safety and security that I require , when other people get the freedom to better themselves and feel as if they walk out side and experience the change in there self esteem and future...where's mine?   ...You're too boyish ...You're too girly...Why are you so sensitive...This generation is so sensitive these days ...I think it's a girl thing, maybe she's on her period...guys will think you're gay if you like these things ...you'll be prettier if you're smile...you're not like typical black girls, you're proper, smart, Lyrical...depression doesn't exist you just need Jesus in your life...liking her is a sin, you're too pretty to consider being gay......no one likes a girl who is smart, they want a girl who can run a house...you should stay in your place like a good girlfriend, you don't need a career, careers are for those bread winners, I'll take care of you....it's not like you're pretty , I just talk to you for a quick boner anyway...so what if he groped you, you're a girl, that's all you're good for  these days.  This year has changed me, it made me more paranoid, self loathing, hated , depressed and scared for my future, scared for my life and scared for my daughters to come......I've change to protect myself...because the world stayed the same.