you're like rum on fire; but i can't begin to even imagine seeing you and not having my heart jump like flames, or touching you and feeling like kindling during a fire, or seeing you walking away and feeling like a dying flame in the fireplace that's in the corner, that nobody goes near to get warm anymore.

so,

i think that maybe i wanna tell you i love you.

but maybe my hesitation is just another way of showing my frustration with my feelings for falling in love outside of the box and waiting for the timing to be just right by the clocks but my mind keeps spinning back to you and through the anger with myself and my misery with uncertainty i love you - i said it.

and yet,

we loved each other like the ocean loves the shoreline, eating away at it little by litte, day after day. we loved each other like the sunlight that makes plants grow, but then scorches the leaves and bakes the moisture from the earth.

so,

before you sleep, think of me. i know the feeling makes you sink and i hope thinking of me reminds you of what you lost after when you said what we had wasn't love, it was lust. 

let us hope that these small paragraphs were able to build small palaces and design castles with moats out of the pages i've lost, because now i've gained my senses I can't seem to write anymore and I'd rather erase myself from the narrative and hide inside my palace ruins.