You hear and yet you do not listen

I know this because I watch your eyes

They glaze over, stare blankly at me and I realize you don't care.

I shouldn't be surprised.

I should embrace the fact that I shall never be worth more than a nod.

 

A nod, a roll of your eyes, a burden laced sigh

Sometimes I wonder if I should simple shut my mouth

Would you register the change?

I can't believe that if I simple chose to quit speaking you would seek my voice.

You would laugh more perhaps.

 

Laughing, I think you hate my laugh

I think you hate it when I can smile and say that I am well off

You'd rather I shut my mouth in a grim line

You would smile if I no longer did.

It would bring you satisfaction. 

 

Satisfaction? Where to seek it, how to claim it?

How might I grasp it in my fist and keep it in my heart?

Would you be satisfied if I simply left?

I believe you mightn't even realize I was gone.

You don't realize I am here now, only when I am a burden.

 

Burden, burden, I am a burden.

When I speak I become a weight on your back.

So I will be silent, although it may cause my heart to bleed.

I will watch myself die in your cold, scornful eyes.

You will not notice.