Dig me ditch

Dig me a home

Where I don't have to love anymore

Where my eyes will see clouds of dirt

And my body will lie still

I want you to dig me a home

Build me a fire

That warms me

So I can feel some hint of a spark again

So I can stop surviving and start living

Like I did

I want you to build me a fire

Make me one last supper

A simple apology on a platter

With the food groups being

The five stages of grief

But I won't consume it

It will consume me

You see that's what love does

It takes away your place in the world

And fills it with white walls

And blank space

It takes away your ability to feel

By putting a cloudy filter over your eyes

And an infinitely somber mask over every face

Love feeds you line after line

Of possibilities

From mountain tops

To the bottom of the sea

And the when your fattened and happy

It leaves you

With a hurricane in your heart

And a riot in your brain

There was once a refreshing ocean breeze

There was once a drizzle of hope

There was once a group of children

Who grew up and saw the world was cold

But now the storm whips through my internal organs

With the ferocity of a gods quest

And the rioters yell relapse in my mind

Because that's what I've learned to do best

There was once a simple sobriety to life

It was once okay to feel vulnerable

But vulnerability breeds love

And Love should be considered

A medical condition

A terminal carcinogen

Because it allows people to dig holes in your heart

So they'll always have a place there

And strike a spark in your lungs  

So you'll always burn for them

Because it allows you to be fed

Images of a false future

And dreams of an alternate humanity

I was vulnerable for you

I opened my arms to the love

I didn't think I deserved

But I was certain that I'd need

Nobody ever tells you that love is a disease

It infects the brain so that you see

A false reality

But love has left my lungs drenched in water

And my organs pulling together as a community

To restore they're ecosystem to its former glory

To patch up the bloodied streets where the rioters commands took place

To stop the floods that the hurricane gave way

Love is a disease

A carcinogen

a riot

a storm

And a hoax

And I believe all the things

Because unlike you

I can't let ours go