Three years old

They have returned from the hospital

And they smile softly at me

"A name?" they ask

They give me three choices

One to long 

Another too short 

I am a three year old Goldilocks

"Ryan" 

I say

They nod and beam

I gave him an identity

Before he became a part of mine

He is an unknown

Six years old

He is the prized posession

Of my grandparents

And although he steals the spotlight

And I am somewhat envious

I smile when people say his name

He is a playmate

Nine years old

We solve puzzles together, he is better than me and I am proud 

We play together, carting around dinosurs and pink puppies

We laugh together, everything is better with your best friend

We paint ourselves with the purple berries in the yard and wreak havoc in the lawn

We prance around catching grasshoppers by the legs but letting them go without harm

We are naivety and innocence

These are the best days

My favorite days that I cling to, refusing to let go

He is my confidant

Twelve years old

For the longest time 

I have been sick

My stomach hurts so that I refuse to eat

I miss trips and school, and friends, and memories I should be able to make

But have been cheated out of 

And when I am as down as it gets

He makes me laugh

He is my bright spot

And now

Fifteen years old

I protect him fiercly 

As if I can pay him back for all he has given me

He is my best friend

And my inspiration

And my hope

And my happiness

My brother