Why is this my entire life... Everything is just too much. I tried. I really tried. But I'm lost. Everything is so dark that I can't anymore... Now I'm losing every hold I had. I'm breaking. It just hurts too much. I want to scream and cry. But I can't. I'm fed up of crying silently on my pillows. I want everything to stop and then the end.

I am not happy. But that doesn't mean I am sad. I just feel okay. It feels like all the emotions inside you are sucked out of you. 

But again, you are there faking a smile, pretending to be okay. But again when you are alone, it all comes back to you. And then it becomes worse...