Brink of Survival

Ever so lightly, I called upon the angel 

The angel I felt that would tame my heart 

I praised her with kisses and fulfilled all her wishes 

Playing like a puppet in her hand from the start 

I opted to make a choice, but that sad lonely voice 

That rang in my ear day to day, wasn’t getting its way 

So, it made me stay, for I had to pay 

For my misguided ways 


I had plenty of time to say I wasn’t fine 

But the increase of lies led to my health to decline 

I was at the pinnacle of my patience 

For I knew that the angel’s rein wouldn’t stop until I was in peril 

For until she was slain and I was once again sane 

My lonely heart couldn’t remember my happiness again 


Because until I departed 

From that black art that called herself an angel 

I would be stuck  

And I, unfortunately, had the worst luck 

Because this time, there would be no blade to hide behind 


They asked me if I was okay, but I only pushed them away 

Then tomorrow became today 

And the overwhelming pressure hurt me in so many ways 

Because I didn’t know the rules, or what I needed to prove 


So, I gave myself away 

Away to the angel who returned with an iron fist 

And I tried to let her go 

But all it did was get her pissed 

She just filled my head with these thoughts and actions  


What is left?  

I asked myself as I got down on both knees 

Bowing down to the angel that could never be pleased 

I looked up to her, but she looked down on me 

But what is there left to see 

What is left? 


And as she raised her hand, having something planned 

For the little slave that she calls me 

I found out her name which made me internally cringe  

For I thought that there was no return, from what I had learned 

That the only thing left was to allow my blood to churn 

So, as I fell deeper and deeper into her control 

That angel continued her rein  

She feigned her innocence until I learned her name 

And that name was  



I needed to get away 

So, I took a moment to think 

I went back to the time when my happiness wasn’t questioned 

When I always made a positive impression 

When my negative energy didn’t cause great tension 

And that was the moment I realized that these harmful thoughts had to lessen 


I had to forget about societies race 

Forget about the judgement I would face 

Forget about how I would be seen as a disgrace 

Forget about how I might be replaced 

And encase myself in a positive embrace 

Because this Suicide bitch will NOT be the reason why I have fallen from grace 


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