the month of may, malignant to fight, provoked my suicidal tendencies with all its might
my mouth felt arid and
my tongue went numb as I forced another pill down my throat.
the seclusive surroundings of my bedroom slowly became a blur;
dark drops of blood trickled from my arm,
slightly staining my sheets a ruddy red color.
black tears streaked down my face.
soon a slumberous hypnosis began to set in which I hoped would soon become a permanent sleep.
but I awoke.
my mind remained paralyzed in a state of sadness
stuck in an able-bodied apostle for life,
who secretly desired a fatal escape from this hurtful hellish world.
this memory became a part of the
three times I couldn’t bear my own demons,
the three times I enacted suicidal treasons.
on my own, all alone, lodged in a sad suicidal mode
I was breaking and crumbling from the inside out
how in this terrible world could I overcome my doubts?
six months later,
I climbed out of the dark
filled the void,
now I’m making my mark.
depression came over me lethargically in the night
but this is the year I can say I successfully won the fight
my desire to stop breathing
became my motive to continue achieving.
my rekindled love
transcended my sanguine need for bleeding
this year I shattered my suicidal mind to pieces
and mended it back together again
to create a new me
who I am learning to love so I can accomplish my ambitious reaches.