My thoughts internalized

Embarrassed to feel them

They say it’s natural to

Hurt, cry, feel, to be sad sometimes.

 

Need a way to get it out of my mind

Can’t keep it inside, I’ll go crazy

Feels so stupid, no one needs to see

These feelings I hide in me.

 

So many things are happening

Too much emotion for me

Pen and pad keep it obscured

For as long as I want.

 

Like my own private diary

A new subject each time

The release is invigorating

The words are flowing now.

 

There’s never a lowly lull

Always new experiences

Of things to get on paper

Immediate gratification.

 

New neighborhood, new friends

New school, scared, bad day

Starting over again

Hurt feelings, I dread tomorrow.

 

For a moment in time

I think I’ve lost my way

Silent tears fall like raindrops

These words are just my braindrops.

 

Well no, hell no

The silence is deafening

But purging it all

Quickly calms the storm.

 

Another day dawns, not always dark

Not always a bad day

More good days than bad

Hopefully life keeps getting better.

 

A sweet glance from across the room

I caught him looking my way

His blue eyes grip my soul

Did I just imagine that?

 

New things I’ve never felt

Before it’s always been the same

Pain and turmoil seeping out

To stain the paper I bleed onto.

 

Day by day, giving new things a chance

To blossom into beautiful words

Letting go, letting my fingers take over

A beautiful page it will be.