"it is just a title

and a diagnosis" 

a bunch of words composed to create a list and

you are not your mental illness.

 

i saw flowers around nooses 

and laughter surrounding suicides

and glitter around guns

my ugly was beautified

a label glamorized

and i wasn't depressed or lonely

or detached

instead

i was beautiful.

 

yet still

 

there was ridicule

and harrassment

and invalidation of my feelings

not because they weren't real

but

because they were beautiful

and who didn't want to be 

an asterisk?

 

but you did not see the anxiety

and impulsitivity

and instability

and chaos surrounding my life

 

yet

i am not my mental illness

but depression

and suicide

and an eating disorder

do not a person make

 

my illness is not beautiful

but i am.

i am not a list 

i am not a diagnosis.

i am a person like every else

wishing

hoping

that my feelings would not 

could not

should not

be romanticized and made beautiful

 

 

i am 

not

a trait

i am 

emotional and

living and

breathing.