I realize that my voice is a litte preturbed 

When did I become so disturbed 

People read me like a girl on a mission 

Writing was just a part of me missing 


I let all go when I had my chance 

Could have been studying abroad in France

Had a full ride to get my degree 

Community college wasn't enough me 


Not saying I belong in the ivy leauge 

Just wishing that education wasn't a competive thing 

I've always been told I deserve a stage 

Where people listen to me 

Chanting my name 

I don't the worship 

I don't like the fame 

So I dropped out to do my thing 


I 'll never regret what I learned that year

Invincible is something you only feel 

Until you've felt true fear

Lost amongst the trends

Swept up in the fad

Of looking like an asshole 

Acting like I'm bad 


Now I know the difference 

What people see outside is sadly somehow me

Maybe if I'd stayed in school I'd be something 

I have to admit something just wouldn't feel like me


Now I'm running on the hope 

One day I'll be found 

This little thing I love 

Will bring me around 

Even if I die a mediocre mess

I know that with this gift somehow I got blessed 





My personal struggles with the decision to leave college has always weighed on me heavily, but I always felt that at the time it was what was best for me because there were some really heavy issues I was dealing with and it wasn't an easy descison by any means. I just rarely talk about it because everyone always feels like I blew this huge opportunity and in a sense I know I did but coming directly out of high school, going through a bad break up and watching your family discentigrate left me a feeling of uncertainty about who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. I rarely discuss that year but this poem pretty much is about all the wonderful self discovery aspects that came from it and I hope some of you who stumble upon my stuff relate.

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