Feels as if I have been laying naked by the toilet on the bathrooms cold hard floor,   

  

Strange how pleasant it feels,   

  

Always loved how cold my skin felt yet feeling warm still inside,   

  

Staying in the same place for hours,   

  

Just think as I'm touching my body,   

  

Just rather lay there then be in my bed,   

  

Don’t care about how dirty or gross it is,   

  

Just rather lay there,   

  

Listening to nothing but my thoughts,    

  

Seeing only what's in front of me,   

  

As tears fall from my face,   

  

I slowly but surely fall into a deep sleep,   

  

One I have never felt before,   

  

I dream of nothing it's just dark,   

  

No lights,    

  

No sound,   

  

No love,   

  

No hate,   

  

Nothing to hold nor touch,   

  

Just empty black,   

  

That is my comfort,   

  

Just my soul floating around,   

  

Such a dim light I am,   

  

I know if I stay I may never return,   

  

So I wake still torturing myself,   

  

I feel I deserve it,   

  

I feel I have to,   

  

why?   

  

I will never know