The darkness

That I feel

Is not normal

It changes me

Turns me dark as midnight

My white feathered wings turn coal black. Spikes and thorns grow in the darkness

No one can see the subtle changes in my face. But I can feel them. I can hear them. The darkness, the blackness approaches me. It doesn’t shine or sing like a siren. If anything, its smile is almost cruel, its eyes as sharp as knifes. Its words are poison but I can’t resist the blackness.

I don’t know what it is but the temptation is great and I fall into its cold embrace. It is soft but chillingly cold. I watch others to see if they hear the whispers of the dark. But they just smile and keep moving like everything is normal.

But nothing is normal

Every time the blackness comes. Normal doesn’t exist. Reality becomes twisted and distorted. It feels like something else has taken over but I’m still in control. I still am the one who commands my body to move, the change has taken place in my mind.

I remain calm but I am quiet maybe they see it maybe they don’t, it doesn’t matter. All the feelings are gone with only anger resting just beneath my calm exterior. I silently dare someone to say something so I can show them what lies beneath.

But I avoid those that could trigger me and wait out darkness. Wait, until I have been freed from that embrace of lies and inhale all of the light. I know this pattern well, I have used it before and will use it again.

But I still wonder if anyone sees the change within me.

Can they recognize it?

Or have I gotten to good at hiding it?

It doesn’t matter

Everything will go back to the way it was

And then I will wait

For the darkness to return again……