Bittersweet

You said you would take what you wanted,

And you did

You reached your hand inside of me

And clawed at my being,

Violated my soul

Your tongue stretched down my throat

Choked me

And still I could breathe

Though I did not want to

You took my hand in yours

Said you would lead me to magical places

But squeezed so tight

I was lifeless by the time

You got me where you wanted

You took fistfuls of my hair

Called me whore

And still I heard love

Still I followed you blindly

And gave my consent

And I cannot call it rape

When it was at first what I wanted

But when I pushed

And pulled

And still you would not leave

You became predator

Rather than lover

And I the hunted

Rather than desired

And for months after

It seemed that every time

Your tongue left my mouth

Long enough for me

To catch my breath

You came back

As if you did not want me to forget

What abuse tasted like

But still then I thought love

As if love can consist of nothing more

Than force

And tears

And blood

It took a long while to get rid of you

A million no’s

A thousand go away’s

Until finally you left

Though still sometimes i can taste you

Betrayal and lies and hurt

In other people

Where I should taste

Love.

m.h.champion

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741