Habit (n) 1 a practice or substance to which a person is addicted:  The baby has been sitting in that stroller all day, watching her drug addicted mother do whatever to support her habit. 2. an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary: The year is 97’, and after 20 years and four babies, her habit has went from giving her body away so she can smoke her life away to basically giving her babies away in order to smoke her life away.

 

The year is 77’

I can’t believe that this has just happened

He didn’t wrap it.

And now I’m stuck here

Abortion is no longer an option.

I didn’t know I was carrying it.

I didn’t want it.

But there I was

About to give birth to the start of a new habit.

But I promised myself I wouldn’t let this

get in the way of doing whatever, with whoever, to

Support my habit.

 

The year is now 97’ and

Instead of doing whatever, whenever, with whoever

To support my habit

I’m stuck here because he refused to wrap it.

Rapid pain got me feeling like

Dear God I’m done with life you can take it

No, I’m done with THIS life.

Take it.

Place it in a casket, throw it in the garbage, I don’t care what happens

As long as I support my habit.

 

The year is 97’

And I just can’t believe it.

Familiar faces place it under a light immediately.

They keep telling me that there’s a chance

it could be blind.

I get jealous

As I turn my face towards the window

I look out and I can see my time walk, ride, and drive by

Perfectly fine.

Instead of being on the other side

Doing whatever with whomever to support my habit

I’m stuck here with this thing.

 

The year is 97’ and it’s getting very risky.

His main thing is missing.

Time is money and I’m scared because Lord only knows

What’ll happen if he finds out what’s happening to me.

 

The year is 97’ and all I can remember is my momma telling me

“when you carry it, you have to care for it.

When you give birth to it, you have to love it”

But how could I possibly love this deformed creature

That looks like it doesn’t even belong on this planet.

Plus I didn’t plan it.

And just look at it.

 

The familiar faces keep telling me that this one might not make it.

They tell me that the skin is yellow

 but I promise that it’s as orange as a carrot.

Yellow skin.

That must mean that he has it.

And he has it.

And he has it.

They all have it.

And since none of them wrapped it

I know have it

And because of my bad habit

This baby girl has it.

The year is 97’

And after 20 years

All I can say is that I still don’t want it.