Who decides who loves freely,

 

and who doesnt?

 

When is too much enough,

 

and the time arrives to throw in the towel?

 

Why do we believe

 

that it is our love,

 

our particularly strong brand of devotion,

 

that will save someone,

 

or make them love us,

 

or perhaps change them

 

for what we grandiously,

 

and somewhat conceededly,

 

believe is the better.

 

Who tells you when it is time,

 

not to stop loving,

 

but to stop loving from so nearby.

 

And that loving from afar is the

 

only remedy

 

that will, in time,

 

repair 

 

restore

 

revitalize

 

and renew.

 

I am forever stuck,

 

in a fantasy

 

of my own creation.

 

I have ever and always been

 

one heck of an imaginative child

 

and, I guess,

 

now an adult,

 

or at least one on the cusp of adulthood anyway.

 

Sometimes I live in the future,

 

mostly I try to live in the now.

 

To enjoy each moment for the

 

emotions it brings,

 

the lessons it teaches,

 

the beauty and breath of life in each second.

 

But sometimes, on rare occassions,

 

I'll take a trip to the past.

 

Sometimes I am caught by surprise,

 

overwhelmed by the memory.

 

Other times I conjure up the images,

 

to learn,

 

to remember,

 

to let go. 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish 

 

I could communicate better.

 

I feel as though,

 

I'm so often misunderstood.

 

And I am reminded of a saying

 

that says intentions arent worth much.

 

And it's true.

 

Intentions don't change or convey 

 

anything,

 

If not put into action.

 

I wonder  If my ramblings will one day 

 

bring me to the truth.

 

What truth?

 

I'm not sure.

 

Just THE Truth.

 

For now,

 

this is the best I can do,

 

even as I push myself

 

to do better.