Before.
Location
Before.
Before, I would go through life as if I was stuck in a lucid dream
I could see the scintillating stars as they charged passed me
Vivid colors of terrifying scenes I could never comprehend
A wilting flower, unable to bloom before day’s end
Until that winter's day came, when I blossomed so rapidly it made
My anxious heart explode and my lusty bones ache,
It was then that my soul became unequivocally yours to take.
So I fell in love with you, the boy with the sky in his eyes
I could feel my heart rive at your hands and I heard its cries
With each day that passed, you took away the lucid dreams
Along with everything stitched together that burst apart at its seams
My mind was filled with fair flowers that could not and would not wilt,
Set free of our demons, and setting the world ablaze in a frenzy of guilt
We burning everything to a crisp in our wake, attempting to create
A world rebuilt from the ashes with a controllable fate
But every day they got deeper, those bleeding cuts within our veins
There was so much love, we were slowly going insane
The screams of agony committed by my soul
Too loud for me to hear but too quiet for others to know
I just miss those shining days of love and lust
Those days I yearn for again so much
I can see the stars up ahead, gleaming down at me
Beckoning me to return once more inside of my dreams
I keep searching for my mind, I wonder where it went
I wonder if it's laughing at my expense
For loving the boy with the sky in his eyes,
For loving him so much it made my soul weep and cry,
For never being enough for anything anymore
I went under the sea, becoming one with the skies
No longer half-dead, barely but solely alive
And I knew nothing could be the same as it was before.
ONE YEAR LATER
After.
After the before, nothing is the same,
Now I only feel alive and incredible as time can tame
I rose from the foam of the seas and laughed into the skies
For though I loved the boy with the sky in his eyes,
Though I loved him so much it made my soul weep and cry
No longer do I hear distant laughter in the darkest parts of my mind
I see the stars and the dreams as they walk past me and I smile wide,
These memories of love that I no longer yearn for,
Whispers of great things muttered by my soul as it soars
As I shine with radiance and bloom in the gracious sun,
Now loud enough for me to hear and for others to know.
Obscured eyes now suffused with overwhelming color,
Making those days seem distant and smaller.
There is no need to burn, only to love
As I am made of love and can give love,
My heart and soul are no longer for someone else to take,
My mind won’t cry out and my bones wont ache.
Now a blooming flower, can not and will not wilt,
Despite the vivid colors and terrifying scenes I try to comprehend,
I will no longer go through life as if I am half dead.
The stars are beautiful, the world is vast and great,
I have so much yet to experience and to gain
I will love with all of my heart, soul, and brain
To be only in healthy relationships and let the negativity abate
I’ve learned what love should be and what it is not,
How much more there is to life than the boy with the sky in his eyes
How love is so much more prevalent and simpler than I previously thought
Everything I experienced before is what love is not supposed to be,
If only he and I had learned this before we went on and fought
Years worth of war, but I suppose its fine to me,
Now that everything is finally restored,
For the after is now much better than the before.