On the first date you bought me flowers.

You said the red roses matches my lips—

And I thought the green stems matched your eyes,

 

You won me a bear at the carnival and every girl was jealous.

I felt like I was in a movie,

Where the guy gets the girl and it’s a happily ever after,

 

But it wasn’t so “happy”

 

Remember those photos we took?

My aching smile and your heart-throbbed excuses why I had to post so many.

 

“Because I love you.”

 

That’s the first time I heard you say those words, the first time I was blinded.

But I went with it, because, “I love you.”

 

I became consumed in everything you did or once was,

And you wanted something else from me to take,

 

You wanted to gain something from me—

But I was gained with you.

 

This carnival ride was too fast—

Or too slow—

Or rather, too wobbly for support.

 

The bear is gathering dust and I watched as you tried to throw it away.

 

I called 10 minutes late and that was not okay.

I lost track talking to a friend— But you are more important than a friend!

 

Who was this friend anyway?

Was it a Stacy or a Stanley and why did the GPS say that I was still all the way across town?

 

You said you were getting groceries last night and I thought—

you finally left.

 

Breaking down in my car, racing after you.

Calling me insane—

It’s like you took the air with you—

 

Are you sure you were just talking to your mom?

You changed your passcode again—so I don’t know.

 

Because those flowers that were once red and pure

are now

Dull and broken,

 

It’s because we argued again that those petals fell,

Taking the time away with them like Beauty and the Beast—

 

But when is the part where I will not feel like a prisoner—

Where is the part that I stop making you feel like a beast?

 

This is not love,

This is those dead flowers,

Fake smiles

And dusty bear that pried at jealousy’s door.

 

This is that thing we both felt but ignored, “because I love you”

 

But love makes no excuses

Love does not own you

Love is not that faded color that’s now on your skin—

 

Love is the thing that needs no illusions to be happy,

Love is the support you get and the freeness in your heart—

Love is passion not control.

 

Love will not tell you to cover your pain

Or admit your sins

 

Love,

 is greatness.