People don’t have balls.

They’ve got phones

            that say you’re a Rock God

They’ve got TVs

            the size of stadiums

They’ve got music

            plugged in their ears 24/7

Listen up! Latest hits!

 

Half the population’s got balls

Technically

            ‘course, some without the gall.

 

No balls! Come and get ‘em!

They’ve got applications

            that tell you how to make pizza

They’ve got screens

            the size of hands, no strings attached

They’ve got cars

            straight off the press—other side of the world

 

You got balls! Step right up! Ladies and gents! Come on! Balls right here!

Bounce ‘em.

Play ‘em.

Touchscreen balls

            don't crack the screen.

Cotton balls

            wireless, best kind.

Tennis balls

            rack ‘em up!

            back and forth, back and forth

 

You got no balls? Step right in.

Got a viral video

            to infect you

What will it be?

The latest pop song?

or the talking babies?

 

Drugs & Sex & Laughs

Don’t need no balls for that.

Got me hooked on ‘D’

            or was that DD?

 

Shoot me up

with your latest virus.

— Just the latest. Latest hits!

You got a hitman?

Heh—ha. Oh…

Look at me Mommy!

I’m fly…ing…

Ooo…

Got me a —

 

Slapped me up

Real good.

Didn’t win play again

Next time.

Next time.

Again! Again!

 

Got me a shiny new car

Got me a smart phone

Got me a bucket of water

            to drown it all in

 

Shriveled up balls.

You die from lack of use

            you're a muscle

            growing weaker, weaker

 

Got a pill for that! 99.9% muscle re-growth!

 

Hook me up

            with a drug or virus

Doesn’t matter. They’re the same.

Got me a flying car and space ship

Bought myself a property on the moon

You know what they’re going for now?